New Year, Renewed Relationship

You and your partner are going into this new year with resolutions and renewed commitments.

You both have needed a change in your relationship for a while. You’re busy, stressed, tired, and not making quality time for each other the way you would like to. Now that you’ve established you want to make some changes, it’s time to figure out how to keep those commitments going.

Last year, your relationship struggled. You both were so stressed that you ended up arguing more and feeling frustrated often. Whether it was groceries, work, what you were doing on the weekend, or even what to watch on tv, you weren’t quite on the same page with each other.

At the end of the day, you’d end up falling asleep closer to your phones than you were to each other.

Now, you’re coming off the holiday season. It was busy and exhausting and you haven’t slowed down since. You’re moving full steam ahead into the new year.

You know you want to be closer in your relationship, you’re just lacking ideas for how to get there. You love your partner, and you want them to know and feel that. So let’s work on this together.

Here are 5 ways to spice up your relationship this year:

1. Plan new date nights.

Maybe you don’t want it to always be dinner and a movie. Both you and your partner take time separately to write down 10 date ideas, and then come together to talk about them. Get creative! Maybe you want to do a cooking class together. Maybe a bowling or skating night would be exciting. Whatever it is, try something new.

2. Find a new shared interest.

Take up a hobby together. Pick something new that you’re both interested in. You could ride bikes together on the weekends, or read a novel together.

3. Talk about your sex life.

(Did I just make this uncomfortable?) Maybe you think your sex life is already good. If so, props to you. But who says it can’t be better? Sit down together and talk with each other. Here are some conversation points: talk about what you like in sex, what you appreciate that your partner does, what you want more of in sex, and maybe something new you want to try. Or maybe, you need more leading up to sex. Share this with your partner too. What can your partner do throughout the day (even if it’s sending a simple message or leaving a note by your coffee mug) to make you feel loved and wanted? These are the things that can turn up the heat a bit more.

4. Figure out where you communication is lacking, and work to resolve it.

Do you feel very distant throughout the day? Maybe a phone call or message on your lunch break would provide more connection with each other. Do you work different schedules and keep missing each other in the morning? Try creating a ritual to do in passing, even if it’s a 2 minute conversation to check in with how your partner is.

5. Set goals together.

Not just necessary goals for paying off debt or eating healthier, but also bigger, long-term hopes. Sit down together and dream up the biggest goals you can think of for your life together. Maybe you want to travel to all the continents in your lifetime. Maybe you want to retire together in a cabin in the mountains, or take vacations every year to the warmest beaches in the world. Whatever those dreams are, plan them together. Then, work together to create the small steps and short-term goals that build up to those bigger ones. It doesn’t matter so much what the goal is. What matters more is that you do it together and you share your hopes with each other.

You’re making important changes in your relationship

Whatever approach you decide to take, just know that any effort to improve your relationship can be a step in the right direction. You’ve decided to prioritize your partner and put each other first, and that is the most important thing. So, take on this new year with a full heart and joy with each other.

Also, know that if any of these ideas were challenging for you and your partner, you’re not alone. It’s okay to ask for some help. Maybe part of improving your relationship this year means seeking help through couples counseling. If you think your relationship could benefit from couples counseling, feel free to reach out today. If you’re in Greenville, Simpsonville, Mauldin, or surrounding areas in South Carolina, I’d be happy to help you and your partner grow closer together this year.