Counseling in Simpsonville, SC
You feel a thousand miles away from your spouse, even when they’re sitting right next to you.
You just realized that you’re both on your phones or zoned out watching tv way more often than you actually talk with each other.
You’re not sure how you got to this point. One day you felt close and loved. Then, weeks, months, or maybe years went by. You realize now that somewhere along the way things got off. You got into a routine that maybe worked for a while, but over time you’ve lost the connection that made you more than roommates. The times when you used to sit together and talk have since turned into boring nights staring at a screen.
In the spaces of your relationship that used to be filled with happiness, you now find disappointment and loneliness.
Not to mention date nights. Where did the fun go? And what about sex?
Sex lost the connection for both of you. You may be so caught up in doing your own business and getting through life that sex is almost nonexistent at this point. You’d much rather hide away in your work or just pass time on social media, and ignore the reality of what your relationship feels like right now.
Somehow it was so easy for you to get stuck in your ways of doing life and work, that you turned around and realized you missed out.
You want to have real conversations that make you feel close.
You got to that point where you finally said “wow, our relationship really needs help.”
That can be hard to admit and hard to recognize sometimes.
You want to connect again, to feel like you’re living with your partner, instead of a stranger. You want to tackle the challenges in your relationship, instead of shamefully covering them up with a well-rehearsed routine.
It’s a scary place to be, stuck in the fear of what others think and how your relationship lives up to the standards you set for it. It keeps you in a pattern that just pushes you farther apart.
Well, one of you probably keeps pushing and trying to motivate the relationship to move forward. You’re trying to open the lines of communication and get your partner to connect with you. You may be the one pushing for date nights. You’re probably the one reading this right now. And you probably feel very alone.
The other of you may feel shut down. You may feel exhausted. So you withdraw. Your partner’s constant push for connection may be overwhelming or feel like nagging to you. You don’t know what else to do and you feel like you’re hitting a brick wall each time you do try, so it’s easier to stay quiet. You probably also feel very alone.
That pattern I just described is the most common one for couples. Maybe it doesn’t explain you. You may both be pursuing each other, but in different ways that don’t connect. Or you may both be avoiding any issues, thus avoiding each other.
As you are both trying to handle this in your own way and keep conflict at bay in the only way you know how, you end up becoming more distant from each other. You grow angry over time as more stress builds. You don’t know how to fix it. You still have good days where you get along, but then at the end of the day you realize that maybe you haven’t kissed each other all day. Or maybe you sit far apart from each other. When you really think about it, it worries you. You know there’s more to your relationship that you used to have and want to have again.
It takes time to break patterns and it takes time to change the way you communicate with each other. But it’s possible. There’s hope. You probably haven’t completely lost the desire to be with each other. You just forgot how to be together. So, that’s where the work comes in of learning each other again, knowing the way you love, and changing the way you communicate.
You’ve realized it’s time for real change. You want to talk with your partner again and have real conversations that bring you closer together.
You want to give your relationship a second chance, renewed hope. It’s about the feeling you have of being in love and the choice you make to love each other.
By committing to therapy, you’re giving your relationship a second chance, renewed hope.
So how will therapy help?
Couples therapy will be a time that you and your partner learn to communicate again. You will be able to express your own needs and worries and grow closer to each other as you feel secure to open up. It’s a challenging and rewarding process in which you bring your relationship back to life. You open new doors to communication and find more engaging ways of being honest with each other. Your intimacy improves as you come to understand and accept each other, for all your similarities and differences.
Why choose me to help you repair your relationship?
I love helping couples improve their communication and grow closer together because I see how easy it is to get stuck in a pattern where you both love each other, but you grow distant. I am skilled in recognizing, understanding, and changing the pattern you both fall into.
I am here to help you both not just talk to each other, but understand how to talk to each other. To understand what your partner needs from you and to help you communicate what you need from your partner. It’s about really exploring your needs and understanding what may be holding you back or making you feel insecure, lonely, or withdrawn in your relationship.
I will help you strengthen your relationship, improve your connection, and find intimacy again. There is hope.
You can both find improved communication and restored connection.
Schedule your free 20 minute consultation today.
During your free consultation, we’ll talk about what it looks like to work with me in addressing the communication issues you have as a couple. We will also discuss your needs and expectations for couples counseling and how I can help you.